September-Beginning October update

 Well hey, howdy and hello there.

It has been a long time since I have updated my blog. Quick little background before I give a bit of an update. I originally started my blog back in 2009, under the influence of my sister Caroline. She had urged me to start when she and her family had moved to Virginia and I had gone with her to help her move. 

Caroline unfortunately passed away on October 1, 2026. 

I have been doing a lot of thinking, and am now sitting here writing in mid-late October, so I am granted a lot of hindsight. As you know, hindsight is 20/20. 

I'm not sure of all the details, but in late August is when I started to get some details of how her health was declining. 

When Caroline was first admitted, we all thought that this would be just another regular visit. That's hard to say that visiting hospitals for Caroline was normal. But it was. She had MS and quite a few other things that were against her. Hospital stays were her norm. 

I've had a lot of time to think about everything. 

I'm sad to say that the last time we had a good, normal conversation was in June. June! It's crazy to think that someone that was once such an integral part of your life becomes someone distant. But I am glad that we got to talk and laugh and share good stories with each other. 

One of the hardest parts of losing Caroline has been looking back at our relationship and wishing I had understood some things differently. Like any sisters, we had our disagreements. There were times when I didn't fully understand her perspective. Looking back now, I wish I had approached some of our moments with more patience and understanding. 

Since losing her, I've caught myself wondering whether things might have been different if we had been closer in recent years. Would I have known more about what she was going through? Would I have recognized how serious things were sooner? Could I have asked more questions, advocated more, or pushed harder for answers?

I'll never know, and I think that's one of the hardest things to make peace with. 

It's easy to look back with the knowledge I have now and wish I had done things differently. But I didn't know then what I know now. I couldn't see how our story would unfold, and I never imagined that I would lose my sister so soon. 

I wish I had understood more. I wish I had asked more questions.

Sometimes I wish we could have stayed as close as we were when we were younger. But as we grew up, we established our own families, took on our own responsibilities, made new friends and families, and got busy with the lives we were creating. Somewhere along the way, the distance found its way into our relationship. And that's not necessarily because we didn't love each other, but because life has a way of pulling us in different directions. 

Caroline's health started to rapidly decline in September. There's a lot that I'm not including. It's still really hard to think about. You can visit Verity's blog (September 2026-Caroline’s Decline) for more details. 

In the end, she was pulled of life support on September 25. Tyler and I, with our 4 kids, went to go pick up Dennis (my dad) from Snowflake and head down. Tyler and I originally were going down because Verity, Jake and I were doing the Mesa Sprint Triathlon on September 26. 

September was a hard month, and the day before, Verity and I did not take care of ourselves. I'm pretty sure nobody was taking proper care of ourselves that month. 

Caroline eventually passed in the care of hospice on October 1, 2026 at 9:36pm. She didn't pass alone. She always had one of the sisters or our Mom and Dad or other family members close by. 

Writing this is still so hard. But we had a lovely celebration of her life on October 17, 2026. I will write more in another post about that specifically. You can also find a post on Verity's blog (Caroline Christine Bingham's Funeral) here. 

Sorry there isn't more information. This was already really hard to write about as is. And it's hard to get back into the swing of blogging when the first thing is so heartbreaking. 

Senior Picture of Caroline!

This was one I snuck while I was with Marilyn (mom) and Mariah. She was talking here. She would be transferred to a rehab facility for a *very* short stay after this time. But she was saying how much she hated all the IVs and that she had to stay in the hospital.

This is me explaining what one of the doctors had explained to me. He had stated that her blood pressure needed to be good for her veins to stay open so they could pull extra fluid out of her body during dialysis. I was explaining to her what he had told me. She was fully unconscious here but we were told she could hear us. 

Marilyn with Caroline the day she was pulled off of life support.

Marilyn wanted one last picture with all the sisters. Caroline had been pulled off LS earlier. Berit is one Facetime as we all said goodbye and had a family prayer. 

Verity and I, bright and early, for our sprint triathlon the next day, Sept 26. We had both not eaten or slept at all the day or night before. 

My cute little family came and supported me during the race. While I was texting Tyler that I hated doing this race and felt like I was going to throw up, pass out, and sob throughout the entire thing, I managed to finish. Probably the hardest thing I have done to date. I'm soaking wet because I felt so sick that I poured cold water all over myself. Kids from left to right; Delaney (10), Hunter proudly wearing my medal (6), Mariah (4), and Ridge (12).

Myself and Verity wearing our medals. Sometimes you just have to smile through heartache.