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Since I already have a blog

Monday, April 3, 2023

Since I already have a blog


Why start a new one. 
Hello and welcome to my blog. I use to write here all the time, but then life got busy and I stopped. 

I'm writing this as a way to keep track of our life and to have a back up of pictures. The entire reason I've started this up again is that when I was living in Rexburg with our little family of four, the flash drive I had all my pictures on some how stopped working. They quoted me a large number of money that we couldn't afford, and also couldn't even guarantee that I would get all the pictures on that drive. Didn't seem to be a very good option when there was no promise of outcome. So I lost all of my pictures from 2014-2017ish. Annoying, I know!

Since this is my first blog in a couple of years, I figured I would keep it short and sweet while I learn the updates to this website and other jazz. Meaning no pictures this time, just a message. 

If you are new here, and let's be honest, I kind of am too, let me introduce myself. My name is Meredith. I am 35 years old. I am married to my wonderful husband Tyler and we will be celebrating 12 years of marriage together later this month. We have four children. Ridge, Delaney, Hunter, and Mariah. We have moved so many times that I don't even know how many places we've lived in, Tyler would know though. I just don't want to ask him right now. lol. Anyway, we live at a fish hatchery, where Tyler works. It is so fun and so different from what I imagined my life would look like when I was younger. I homeschool our children and we have built a little homestead here. We have two dogs, one cat, four ducks, and 29 chickens. Plus we are hatching more chicks and raising them to ultimately sell/give to some of our family. I am also a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am an active member and have a calling which pulls me so far out of my comfort zone. I am a ministering secretary. I set up lots of interviews and move in meets. I also run the Relief Society Facebook page. Life is busy. 

Our house is filled with chaos, toys, art, plants, music, laughter and love. I wouldn't change it one bit. It is hard and crazy and great. So while I share the highlights, know that I am human just trying my best. I am constantly learning more and trying to do and be better. 

So here we are, at the conclusion of this post. Told you it would be short. I am going to strive to post at least once a month, but I also have an Instagram (@meredith.forsberg) and TikTok (@hatchery_homestead). You can also follow me there. I post a lot about recipes, gardening, animals, family and more. 

Till then. 
Later

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Turning the tables and learning to love my husband

Ok. So I apologize in advance for this being a saga of my life the past five years. But it is my blog. And you are choosing to read it. And continuing on to this sentence too. So the joke is on you really for being somewhat entertained (or bored enough) to read my blog. Or you just want to know your life is better than mine. 

A little over five years ago, I married the love of my life. Little did I know the journey that my husband, Tyler, and I would go on. He would become my best friend and confidant. I had no idea what marriage is really like. Everyone talks about rainbows and sunshine, but they rarely mention the storms. The roller coaster of ups and downs. The time where two people in love can just not want to be around each other. I also didn't realize how crazy I was. I mean, my mom and dad did. For crying out loud, my dad even warned Tyler (or tried) about who he was marrying and what he was getting into. I don't think he ever really grasped the idea of just how crazy I could be and am still. 

Our first year of marriage was wonderful, and hard. We had no clue what the heck we were going to do. So I went to school to become a licensed cosmetologist and Tyler, meeting an officer with Pinetop-Lakeside, would apply and later go to the police academy. Boy was that tough. You don't really realize how much you need a person until you can't have them with you everyday. Even though, let's be honest, sometimes being with a person 24/7 is freaking hard too. Haha. Well the man that told Tyler to apply was a power hungry jerk. I never knew how hard of a struggle it was for Tyler when this man was just, well, he just wasn't nice. 

So we decided he should apply elsewhere and we could move to Flagstaff for Tyler to go to school at NAU. However a poor decision on our part was made to quit before another job was lined up. We learned from our mistake. 

But no matter, we were no in Flagstaff and I had a job as a dental assistant. The office I worked for was not a very good one and now I knew why. Way too much turnover, among other things. I also found out I was pregnant. I decided I wouldn't tell my job until I was past my first trimester. Shortly after I had informed them, they let me go. Trying to say that I missed too many days of work, when there was no proof, and that I wasn't picking up on the dental procedures quick enough. I'm sorry that you forgot that you moved me around between four different dentists all with different schooling and ways of doing the same procedures. But now I was fired literally days after informing them I was pregnant. 

So we applied for state benefits. Never have I felt more judged, shameful, guilty, and loathed all at the same time. We were broke and trying to make ends meet with high rent, me with a baby on the way and Tyler desperately searching for jobs. My depression was getting a little out of control with my hormones. Tyler said I was terrible to live with being pregnant. Sorry babe!

Then, we welcomed cute little Ridge boy into our lives. Tyler had been hired on with the Payson police department. We thought things were looking good. But when Ridge was born, I got full blown PPD.

No one talks about that. In fact they make you feel kind of bad if you aren't perfect. The pediatrician said Ridge would lose 10% of his birthweight, but not to worry because it was normal and he would gain it back. Well that same per, upon our next visit bullied me. Told me that Ridge had lost the 10% and that he was too skinny. Was I sure he was eating enough? He shouldn't be this small! As a new mom, that was devastating. Not knowing if I was breastfeeding correctly. Not knowing if my babe was getting enough to eat. Feeling just down right awful. But I tried to hide it. Only my sister Verity really knew, because she had just had a babe and understood, and my mom were ones I really talked to. 

So we switched doctors. Which was wonderful. She was amazing and look right at Ridge and at Tyler and said "Well of course he's small. Look at his dad!!!" That was what I needed. Support and understanding. 

My OBGYN (who is absolutely the BEST) suggested I talk to a physciatrist. And while I picked up great information, I couldn't be honest with that Doc because I wasn't quite ready to be honest with myself. And I didn't really talk to Tyler either. 

Fast forward to Payson. Man. Did we think we had it good. New job. Steady income. We thought we would be there at least 3-5 years. Then surprise surprise (actually not that big because we planned it, just not all the crap after). Tyler was fired. And I was pregnant. And we just bought a new house. And a new car. 

That chief of police there is so many bad words!!!! I loathe him and have no respect for him. 

But we fought it. Thanks to our case and being completely blindsided, we won. If you could really call it winning. Tyler was no longer fired but was made to quit. That was hard. And I'd still hard. We are still living with everything. Still have a house there. Tyler will have to explain everything to ever job he ever gets because one stupid stupid "chief" couldn't and doesn't support his men and police officers. 

Blindsided. Pregnant. New home. New car. Jobless.

So we applied for state benefits once again. We also had to have help from our church. We prayed. Tried to have faith and pray to strengthen our faith where it was weak. This would be hard for anyone in our situation. Tyler felt broken (and still quite often does). I was trying to handle the stress on top of my depression. None of my friends new. But I felt they were all juding me. And my depression worsened.  It was hard. And sitting here thinking on it now, I'm crying. I felt alone. Trapped. And like I was drowning in the awful gloom of it all. 

Delaney was born. And I tried to be ok. And I think I hid everything pretty well. But this time I would be honest with myself and Doctor. I talked to my oldest sister, Sarah and she just helped everything. So when my doctor asked how things were I said ok. He urged further on. "Does Ridge bother you?" Yes. "Oh well he is a 1.5 year old. They tend to be bothersome." Well Delaney gets on my nerves too. "Oh? Well it's ok. We can help you." And I was prescribed medication. But I no longer had insurance. Thankfully Walmart is awesome and has my meds for $4!! 

We were receiving help from our ears in the Church. Meeting with my awesome RS president. But I was still hiding everything. And the weight was getting harder and harder.

We made the decision to move in with my parents. And I was still hiding everything, though I would snap at times and it would be bad. I had the support of my mom and dad. And poor, dear, wonderful Tyler was just confused with how to help me. Breastfeeding Delaney was hard on me. I couldn't handle it anymore and switched to formula. But of course there are crazy ladies and mothers everywhere who have to put in their two cents about everything and make you feel guilty about stopping and going with formula. 

Anyways... Moving on. 

I kept talking to Tyler about school and the Air Force. He said only his credits from his school on Oregon would transfer to BYUI. 

Forget that. I am NOT moving to Idaho and will never live there. But I tell my mom and she gets an idea. Tyler should go to BYUI. Well I'm already having a hard time. But I make her promise me that she will visit me! Then, unbeknownst to Tyler, I apply to school. And within a month, he was accepted and we were packing our bags. 

Now we are here. And I have no one. No family. Nothing. Just Tyler and my kids. Whom I love dearly and would do anything for, but also drive me crazy. My depression has been bad and sometimes I can't handle it. But you know what? I've learned to rely and confide in Tyler. He is such an amazing guy. Truly! I sit up late at night and cry into his shoulder. Not knowing how things will work out. 

But he is there. 

When feeling lonely and like I can't move, he is there. 

When I feel as though I am wing shamed on a social media site, he is there.

When I just need a break and honestly do not want to mom that day, he is there. 

So while I was completely against moving here and while I'm still pretty hesitant to call this place my home, one thing is sure and constant. 

Tyler is here. He loves me. And I love him. And even though we think I might have manic depression or am bipolar, I know I have him. I may not feel that way always because depression is brutal to the mind.  But when I am clear in the head, I know he loves me. 

And when I just feel unloved and just honestly need a hug, he is here for me. Because I need hugs a lot and I just don't let anyone know because I say I don't need it. But I do. I need my friends and family and my children and my spouse!

He calms my worries of whether my children love me, whether they know I love them. He helps me when I just can't be a mom or deal with my children. 

So though I know he is going through rough times and we are struggling and beyond broke, I know we will make it through. 

Because he is there. And I love him,

Shout out to Tyler because I probably just embarrassed you. Sorry. But I love you.



Monday, May 16, 2016

Ridge turns TWO and Delaney is 4 months old!

Seriously!!! My little boy is now a sassy, but sweet toddler! On April 22, 2014 at 9:06 pm, that sweetheart little boy made his debut into our lives. He weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and was the best first baby. And he is still my favorite little boy. Ridge LOVES Choo Choo trains and now constantly asks "what's that?" To everything he is curious about. I have loved seeing the world from his perspective. He is such a great helper around the house too. He is also very curious about everything going on. He is very active and loves to be outside. He's spend all day out there! 
Favorite book: My First Things That Go (it has tractors and airplanes and trains)
Favorite food: cookies and chocolate (I've been teaching him American Sign Language to help with his vocabulary. He loves asking me for cookies followed by an excited please!)
Favorite people: Mom, Dad, Delaney
Favorite movie: it changes all the time. 
Favorite thing: the park

Delaney turned 4 months old! 
I can't believe it. It seriously feels like I just had my cute, chunky, cabbage patch doll baby! At four months she weighed 18.1 pounds. She fits in size four diapers better than Ridge. She loves to roll all over the place and loves watching her best friend and older brother Ridge! She wants to crawl so bad, but when she lifts herself up, she scoots backwards. It's very frustrating. Haha! I'm seriously so happy to be her momma. 

Now enjoy some pictures! 
Ridge got Ironman and a vacuum for his birthday, among other things as well. 
Don't mind the bruise and the poorly, self given haircut. He's just as happy as a clam.
Chinky passed out girl and crazy, monkey, climbing boy!
Delaney being cute! It's pretty easy for her to do.
I can hardly get pictures of Ridge nowadays because they are all blurry or he's not paying me any attention. But Delaney sure doesn't mind a few pictures! Only a 6 pound difference between these two.

That's all! Adios!



Thursday, May 5, 2016

The Forsberg's in Rexburg

So in case you missed it, we moved to Rexburg, ID! Arizona skies gave us such a sweet farewell the weeks leading up to our departure. We made the trip in two days and had some unexpected car troubles with our Rover. We spent the night in Cedar City, the half way point, at my brothers house. The next morning we got things ready and ran a few errands. Had to pick up a gift for Ridge, a toy vacuum, and we drive by the new temple. It is coming along beautifully!! My brother volunteered to help us drive and unload. He beat us to Idaho by a couple hours. You could say he's a speed demon. And he only had Ridge. 

Anyways, we made it to Rexburg safe and sound and spent the night in a hotel. Tyler and Ridge went swimming! Well, they sat in the hot tub. The pool was a bit cold for our AZ blood. The next morning, my mom and I went to check some things out since we couldn't get the keys right away. But I got a call from Tyler whole mom and I were driving around that they had gotten the keys early and they were unloading. So we made our way to our new home. Tyler's parents were there to help unload and unpack as well. Once the moving truck was empty, we took it back. Morgan (my brother) and Megan (my niece) left shortly after. Then my parents left shortly after that. It was so great having their help and support moving here. 

So after my brother and parents left came the unpacking. I still have boxes left, we have a lot of crap from moving from our house to a town home. Malya, Tyler's mother, helped me unpack some of the kitchen stuff! And a big thank you too. After that, Tyler's mom and dad took us out to dinner. At Winger's. Never been there before? Be jealous! They have THE BEST wings I've ever had, serve popcorn before the meals, and it's just a fun environment!

After all of our help left, we had to get Ryler ready for school. Since it starts on Monday and we only got there on Friday! The first week was tough. Tyler was very stressed about a lot of things and his patience was wearing very thin. It was a very rough week. The next weekend we drive, with one of Tyler's awesome sisters Kaylee, the 5.5-6 hour drive all the way to his parents house. We spent the weekend there with all of his other sisters too. It was a pretty fun weekend. I was just getting over how emotional and HARD the week was, so I was kind of crazy. But I blame that on Tyler! Haha. We left in Sunday after church and lunch, since we had to be back for Tyler to go to his second week of school.

The second week was much better than the first. Tyler is starting to get into the groove of school. Now we are into May though and I hit Tyler a day planner and am his secretary to help him remember when he has work, school and homework assignments. 

Rexburg has just been beautiful. Kaylee visited and stayed with us over the Motger's Day weekend. We love having her over. I think she kind of calms Tyler down. He gets a little crazy sometimes. But when you have a house full of crazies, it's to be expected to go a little nuts sometimes. Lol. Anyways, I have gotten more and more boxes unloaded. We could still use a few more things and are getting closer to having a livable, functioning home. But I'll take what I can get.

Also I took Ridge and Delaney to the zoo in Idaho Falls. 

That's all. I feel like my blog is kind of scatter brained and all over the place. Hopefully it makes sense. But if not, just look at these pictures and maybe you'll forget the words. Haha!
Loaded up and leaving my parents home in Mesa.
Forgive my windshield. But look at that sky!
All of our caravan. This was before my car started having serious problems and we switched to pulling it on the trailer. Page, AZ.
Well hello Utah. Utah drivers are CRAZY and it was raining all through Salt Lake City where no one knows how to drive in clear weather, let alone rain. 😬 that was my face driving.
Hello beautiful! We were blessed with wonderful views.
Hello Idaho. Pocatello is a beautiful city. With green rolling hills! It was breathtaking.
We had Megan in the car with my mom, Delaney and I. She was such a big help! 
Tyler and Ridge at the hotel pool.
Sweet babes on the hotel bed.
The temple and sky are beautiful. This is the closest I've ever lived to a temple before. I can look out my window and see it up on the hill.
The park RIGHT behind our house.  It snowed the first day we were here so I had to pull out jackets!
We walked Tyler to class for his first day of school like he was 5 years old! Haha!
We woke Ridge up with balloons on his birthday! What a cute 2 year old boy.
Celebrating Ridge's birthday at Grandma and Grandpa Forsberg! Ridge was teething this weekend and was super whiny and kept getting told to stop whining. But the cake and birthday singing made it all better.
Birthday gifts.
Forsberg cousins. 
This is the Twin Falls temple. We stopped by on our way back to Rexburg.
My favorite little girl!
Because nothing is better than chubby, naked babes.
Delaney turned 4 months old. I'll be doing Ridge's Birthday post and Delaney turning 4 months in another post. 
Ridge at the zoo!
Riding the safe tiger at the zoo! 

That's all folks!